How to Resurrect Your Daughter’s Self-Worth
Today, as Christians across the world celebrate Easter, I can’t help but think about a different kind of “Resurrection.”
Not that of a Savior who was without sin and endured suffering on the cross for us.
But of teen girls who are without a healthy sense of self-worth and carry the burden of their own cross every day.
And after 17+ years of working with teens, I can’t think of anything that has been more of a burden to girls’ self-worth than sex.
Even when it’s consensual.
Thus, the need for a “different kind of resurrection.”
So many young ladies walk into my class full of regrets, self-doubt and low self-esteem because of their past decisions regarding sex.
Decisions they’ve come to recognize as mistakes.
Mistakes they use to measure their worth.
…Until they are reminded of their VALUE.
“With you coming to the school, and talking to all of us,I’ve realized that I have so much value.Almost a year ago, I thought I had NO self-worth or value. I was on countless drugs and constantly sleeping around with multiple guys, at least three a day. I honestly thought I was worth nothing, and thought ‘maybe if I have sex with him, he’ll love me.’ Turns out, that wasn’t true. I know now that it’s ok to say ‘no.’ Just because I say no doesn’t mean someone won’t love me. I hope that every boy and/or girl knows that saying ‘no’ isn’t bad, but good. My boyfriend and I have now chosen to not have sex until marriage. Thank you for showing me that not only am I worth something, but that I’m not alone either.”
…That their worth is NOT determined by their past mistakes.
“Growing up, I always had self-esteem issues. As soon as I became a teenager, I began looking for love in all the wrong places. Each time it ended up the same way. With me hurt and my self-esteem even lower. One of the things I learned from you is that my value isn’t determined by how many sexual partners I’ve had, but by who I am as a person. I learned that I shouldn’t use sex as a way to feel love and self-esteem starts with SELF. Thank you for giving me a new outcome in life.”
…That it’s NOT too late to start over.
“When you came to our school, I really didn’t want to hear anything you were going to talk about. Till you said this one true fact ‘no matter what you did in your past doesn’t mean you can’t start new.’ I’m 16 years old and lost my virginity a week before turning 16. I regret doing it because the guy really didn’t love me. He wanted to smash and pass.”
Even if you don’t think your daughter needs this kind of “resurrection,” it’s always good to remind her that:
- She has value.
- Her worth isn’t determined by the mistakes she’s made in the past regarding love, sex, and relationships.
- It’s never too late to make better decisions and have a fresh start.
At the very least, it will strengthen your daughter’s belief in her own sense of value.
And that’s a blessing…
Happy Resurrection Sunday!
P.S. Whether you celebrate Easter or not, keep in mind that your daughter may be in need of a different kind of resurrection. One that validates her self-worth, relieves her of the burden of holding on to past mistakes and empowers her to make best choices going forward.
P.P.S. This is a timely message for any teen girl no matter what your religious beliefs may be. So please share it with your friends on Facebook.