A mom asked a question recently during a virtual session with moms and daughters.
She asked, “When should I allow my daughter to date?”
I’m sure she was expecting me to give her an appropriate age. Instead, I shared a message I received from an 8th grade girl who had been in my class recently.
She said, “I’m dating a guy who I know has had sex before. What do I do if I think he is going to expect me to also have sex with him? I’m far too scared to have sex; but I’m afraid if he asks me, I won’t know how to say NO.”
I responded, “Then you don’t need to be dating anybody because you’re not confident enough in who you are and your standards/boundaries. You’re nervous somebody is going to talk you out of what you want to do and that’s a dangerous situation. So, you shouldn’t be dating anybody, much less someone who has already had sex. I agree with you about thinking he may expect you to do what his previous girlfriends did, which is why I don’t think he’s someone you should be dating.”
I shared the above story on an Instagram reel if you’d like your daughter to hear it for herself. (Just click the image below.) And while she’s there, have her check out some of my other popular videos.
Based on my countless conversations with girls and thousands of letters they’ve written to me, I’m convinced far too many teens girls have sex solely because they aren’t confident enough to stick to their standards.
This young lady’s letter is a perfect example:
“You came to my middle school in my 8th-grade year and I remember thinking when you were talking to us girls about sex, what comes with it, that it was just something I had to sit through. I honestly didn’t listen. Tonight, I was kissing my boyfriend. He wanted to go further and I was uncomfortable. I didn’t know how to say no and somehow, I thought about what you told us. I kept thinking back on what you said and the stories you told. And I got courage [confidence] and was able to say no. And he told me that it was okay and that he understood, and that he respected me more for telling him than just going along with it. Without what you had told me, I don’t know how tonight would’ve gone. So, thank you!”~10th-grade-girl
I believe being confident is one of the top three ways teen girls can increase the chances they will abstain from having sex. I’ll be writing about the other two ways in the upcoming weeks. So, stay tuned!
Every girl needs confidence.
A lack of it leaves girls vulnerable, willing to accept less than they deserve and prone to making poor choices.
While a healthy dose of it leaves girls empowered, unwilling to settle for less than they deserve and inclined to make best choices for their future.
That’s what we want for your daughter!
Helping your daughter develop more confidence can be a challenging but rewarding task.
Below are a few suggestions:
- Provide a supportive and encouraging environment.
- Show her you have faith in her and her abilities.
- Keep the lines of communication open—talk to her and let her know she can come to you with any questions or worries she has.
Do you know what’s even better than having a daughter who is confident?
One who is F.A.B. [Focused. Authentic & Brave]
Several years ago, I created a Checklist, 10 Ways to Raise a Daughter Who’s F.A.B. (Focused, Authentic & Brave), that parents can download for FREE.
Even though the response to the Checklist was amazing, I received a number of requests from moms who wanted additional guidance and practical steps.
So, I created the 10 Ways to Raise a Daughter Who’s F.A.B. e-course to accompany the Checklist.
And it’s a game changer!
The 10 Ways to Raise a Daughter Who’s F.A.B. e-course will equip you to help guide your daughter on the path to becoming the Focused, Authentic and Brave young woman she was always destined to be.
- 10 video modules with in-depth lessons.
- Letters from real teen girls in my classes and the stories they’ve shared with me about the struggles and regrets that have hindered them from being F.A.B.
- 30 practical action steps you can begin implementing on Day One!
As the mom below confirms, this e-course is the new go-to resource for moms everywhere who want to raise their daughters to be confident in their own skin so they can make their own unique mark on the world!
“I watched all 10 videos, and they were wonderful! Every single one had amazing information and practical tips. As a mom of all girls, one being 16 now, I love that you literally give the ‘what to do’ related to the specific topic you are talking about.
Having the practical ‘tools’ with how to tackle these vital things to raise her to be F.A.B. is awesome and so helpful. You make it doable without my daughter feeling like she’s getting another ‘lecture.’ Lol
Even the practical tools that you give us moms with how to suggest things to our husbands to help them understand the importance of connecting with their daughters was helpful.
In a world that is full of lies and deception, specifically towards our daughters, we have to do better. You are helping equip moms to do that and I genuinely thank you from the bottom of my heart. This needs to be heard by every mother everywhere so that these beautiful, worthy, and significant young girls will be empowered, equipped, encouraged, and challenged to be difference makers.”
~ Kristin, mom of 16-year-old daughter
When you download the FREE checklist, you will receive an offer to purchase the e-course at a deep discount of 48% off!
Click the button below to download your very own F.A.B. Checklist today for free and make sure you get the e-course as well.
P.S. As a mother of a teen daughter, you want nothing more than to see her realize her full potential and enjoy her journey along the way. And she absolutely can by the grace of God and with a little help from you encouraging and empowering her to become the Focused, Authentic & Brave young woman she was destined to be. A young woman who knows she has the right to say NO and won’t feel the need to please a boyfriend who’s likely going to become her ex anyway. My e-course will help you help your daughter become “that girl.” Go here to download your checklist TODAY and take advantage of the discount of 48% off.
P.P.S. Please share this post with all your mom friends who have teen daughters on social media. Thank you!