Wow! I can’t believe we’ve already reached the end of my #Back2School with Jackie B series.
I was excited to share this series with you because so much of what happens in a teen girl’s life happens at school. Good and bad.
Thankfully, many of the “bad” experiences girls face can be avoided with a little preparation.
During this time of year, parents tend to focus their attention on the physical preparations for #back2school (i.e. uniforms and supplies). What’s overlooked is the social preparation.
And I believe that is the difference between your daughter having a drama-filled new school year, and one that is drama-free. (Pretty sure I know which you’d prefer.)
So, if you’re new to my blog or have missed any of the previous posts from this series, here’s a quick rundown:
- Help your daughter have a distraction-free new school year with these three A+ tips.
- Discover 10 things your daughter needs for school that you won’t find on a school supplies list.
- Don’t wait to have these three conversations with your daughter while it’s still the beginning of the year.
A Solid Gold #Back2School Sex-Ed Tip
Now that we’re all caught up, let’s dive in to my final post.
One of the things I look forward to when school starts back and I have my first class, is the very first conversation of the year.
It’s like a goldmine, and there’s always some in-your-face nugget of truth I can cash in again and again throughout the year.
Last year that “nugget” was something a guy in my class asked:
‘Why do girls take sex so seriously? Why can’t they just move on after the sex is over?”
If you could have been a fly on the wall when he asked those questions. The ensuing conversation was EVERYTHING.
The girls accused him of being a “smash and pass” kind of guy. An accusation he vehemently denied.
According to him, he didn’t have casual sex. He only had sex inside of a “committed” relationship. Here’s how he explained himself:
‘Let’s say I start having sex with my girlfriend a year after we start dating. If we break up a year later, why does she act like I’m a horrible person because I ‘took’ her virginity and now I’m breaking up with her? Just because we had sex didn’t mean we were going to be together forever. We’re in high school! What did she expect?’
I’ve said it before, guys make my job easy. Their truth is an eye-opener for girls. And that truth has set many girls free!
By the way, the short answer to the young man’s question is because most girls see sex as “forever.”
If your daughter receives nothing else from this blog post series, make sure she knows that sex does NOT mean forever.
It’s not going to make the guy like her if he didn’t already.
It’s not going to make him stay.
And it’s not going to make him love her.
If anything, sex adds unnecessary drama to the relationship and speeds up the breakup, which leads to heartache.
Let’s help your daughter bypass all of that!
Having the End in Sight is 20/20
Above are just a few of the talking points I shared with the girls in my classroom last year. And I hope you’ll share them with your daughter now.
Talk to her about how differently girls and guys think when it comes to love, sex and relationships. (This would be a great discussion for your daughter to have with her father or another trusted adult male. My book 7 Secrets Guys Will Never Tell You is another great resource).
One of the differences is that girls don’t think about an ending point. So, when the relationship ends they’re devastated.
Guys on the other hand, go in recognizing their “teen romance” has an expiration date. It’s often called high school graduation.
That’s why I encourage girls in my class to think about the following question BEFORE they decide to have sex, and I invite you to do the same with your daughter:
How am I going to feel about this when the relationship ends?
I’ve found that when you equip teen girls with the information they need to consider all the possible outcomes of their #back2school decisions and empower them to choose wisely, they often will.
Whether that’s which friends they hang out with. The subjects they take or extra-curricular activities they participate in. Or who they date and how far they’re willing to go in the relationship.
It’s my hope that this #Back2School with Jackie B series has equipped you with helpful tips you can use to empower your daughter to choose wisely too.
Here’s to a distraction-free, F.A.B. new school year!!!!!
Be sure to come back and share how your daughter’s year is going.
What challenges is she facing?
What conversations have you had based on something I’ve discussed in this series? What was the outcome?
If you feel more comfortable sharing via email, drop me a note any time at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Your feedback helps guide future topics I address on the blog. So, please don’t be shy.
P.S. If you’re looking for more helpful tips, I have more resources for the entire family.
Go here to learn more.