Hopefully by now the Conversation with Korey blog series has sparked honest, open-ended discussions between you and your teen. The practical tips Korey shared last week are great for any guy or girl who’s made a commitment to abstain and needs additional inspiration on how to “sex-proof” their day-to-day decisions.
In today’s post, Korey and I delve into the highly sensitive topic of fatherlessness and its impact on girls. Before we begin, now feels like a great time to offer my disclaimer: The purpose of this post is not to assign blame to anyone for the very complex subject of fatherlessness. Our goal is simply to highlight some of the issues that girls without fathers face as a result.
While this is never a fun topic to discuss, it’s one that am forced to address every time I speak to girls. So many of them are suffering the negative effects of not having dads in their lives, which almost always shows up in their relationships with boys. That’s why I wanted to get Korey’s take on it.
The insight he offers as a young man who has encountered, been in relationships and/or had sex with young ladies without fathers, is worthy of taking notes.
Girls Go Outside for What’s Missing Inside
Korey grew up with many girls, who like him, didn’t have a father at home. But there was a difference in how they handled this absence. Instead of lashing out like he and many of his male friends did, Korey noticed that the girls without dads were more “promiscuous” and “lacking in confidence.”
As he also points out, the true impact of fatherlessness on girls is that they are forced to search outside of their home for the validation they should have been getting at home all along. And I agree with Korey, that is never a good thing for girls!
No Father? – No Problem!
Unfortunately this is the thinking of many teen boys when it comes to interacting with girls from fatherless homes. And Korey admits that it used to be his M. O. as well. According to him, it was “easier” to take advantage of girls who didn’t have dads in their lives.
These girls often crave attention and may even use social media as a means towards that end. Pay special attention in the clip to what Korey says some girls will use as a “weapon,” on social media to get guys to “like” their posts, in hopes that it will translate into something real off-line. The problem is it never does.
If your daughter’s father is not involved in her life for whatever reason, please share the clip below with her! And even if both parents are actively involved in your daughter’s life, she still needs to watch this.
One of the things I love about teaching co-ed classes is that girls have the opportunity to hear directly from guys, about what they really think about love, sex and relationships. As the saying goes, “knowledge is power.” And my goal is to empower girls to view love, sex and relationships through a realistic lens and not through rose-colored glasses, so they can make healthy choices in these areas.
Let me know what you and/or your daughter have to say about today’s Conversation with Korey in my comment section below. And stay tuned for next week when Korey and I tackle the impact of fatherlessness on boys.