It has always bothered me when people say teenage girls and their moms will have an adversarial relationship, as if it’s inevitable.
One of my goals is to do my part to dispel that mindset.
Which is why every chance I get I do my best to help teen girls understand their moms’ “rules” whenever they share their frustrations with me.
I also try to help moms who do have an adversarial relationship with their daughters, deal with their frustrations.
A Different Kind of Love Letter
Not too long ago, I sent the following email to a mom who had expressed to me in the past that she and her daughters were having some challenges.
Email to the mom: There’s been some interest in me doing a Mother/Daughter Webinar…wouldn’t necessarily be about sex, but just sharing what I’ve learned from teen girls about how moms and daughters can best relate. Would that interest you?
I had recommended earlier that she write her daughters a letter using my The Letter Every Mother Should Write Her Daughter Guide…
Mom: Definitely would be interested. I wrote my daughters letters using your template during a hard time with them. Neither even acknowledged them. That was really hard. So yes, anything to help them not hate me, I’d do!
My response: You’re not the first mom to tell me their daughters never acknowledged the letters. I know that was tough, but don’t take it personally. It’s tough parenting adolescent girls, especially for moms. But I’d be willing to bet the letter meant a lot to them, even if they don’t know how to express it (or they’re just being too stubborn to express it). One day, you’ll get to hear them tell you how much it meant. Hang in there.
My heart went out to her and I couldn’t stop thinking about the pain she was experiencing.
I remembered an article I had read years ago and started searching for it to send her.
I found the article two weeks later and sent the following message to her:
Read this article years ago and have been looking for it to send you. Finally found it. Hang in there.
Check it out for yourself…
After reading the article, this was the mom’s response:
Holy tears. Wow. That’s powerful. Thank you for sharing this. I desperately needed that.
Hope is NOT Lost
If you and your daughter are experiencing challenging times, I hope the above article will bring you hope as well.
During both of my previous Masterclasses, I spent time speaking to the girls about the importance of having a healthy relationship with their moms.
Want a sneak peek to what I shared with them?
Click the picture below to watch the clip.
This clip is just one of countless gems I share with girls enrolled in my 7 Secrets REVEALED Masterclass.
Which I purposefully designed to be more than just a book club review of my book, 7 Secrets Guys Will Never Tell You.
Because teen girls today struggle with so much MORE than just issues regarding sex and romantic relationships.
So, my Masterclass addresses love, sex, and relationships while ALSO helping girls build up their self-esteem and self-confidence.
Which in turn positively impacts their relationships with their parents…
“I am so glad that I was a part of your Masterclass. I learned so much and have begun to realize my own self-worth and that I don’t need a guy to make me happy. I am having more open and honest conversations with my parents and I am going to take time to work on ME.
Thank you so much for everything you do.”
Wouldn’t you love this to be your daughter’s testimony…?
…That she realizes her own self-worth?
…That she doesn’t need a guy to make her happy?
…That she comes to you to have open and honest conversations?
If so, consider signing your daughter up for my upcoming pre-recorded 7 Secrets REVEALED Masterclass.
Registration will open soon!
In the meantime, I encourage you to share the clip from my Masterclass with your daughter.
Then schedule some mother/daughter time to ask her the following questions…
…How do you see our relationship?
…What do you like best about your relationship?
…Is there anything I can do to improve the relationship?
The bottom line is this: Your relationship with your daughter does NOT have to be adversarial.
Like the article said, no matter how much your daughter may argue, sulk, or remain silent…she’s counting on you to “stay in the fight.”
P.S. As someone who enjoyed a healthy relationship with her mom as a teen, it breaks my heart when moms (like the mom I talked to in this post), reach out to me about the strained relationship they have with their daughters. I know it’s not always easy dealing with teen emotions, attitudes, and perspectives, but I also know how important it is for teen girls to have a healthy relationship with their moms. And vice-versa. Which is why I purposefully devote time in 7 Secrets REVEALED to helping girls understand their mothers’ point of view. Don’t forget to go here to check out that clip and show it to your daughter so you can ask her the questions listed above. And reach out to me if you want to be notified when registration opens for my newly pre-recorded Masterclass.
P.P.S. Please share this post with every mom you know who has a teen daughter, even if you think they have a healthy relationship. There’s always room for improvement.