Before jumping into this blog post, how are you and your family adjusting to our “new normal?”
Hopefully you, your daughter and your entire family are safe, healthy and experiencing a sense of calm even as chaos surrounds us.
While I truly believe in trying to find the silver lining in the midst of any bad situation, as a result of my 18 years of experience teaching teens every day and reading 17,000+ letters from them, there’s something that concerns me that may not have crossed others’ minds…
…the increased opportunity for teens to have sex if their parents are still going to work while they’re at home alone all day.
Home Alone in the Age of Corona
Boredom and loneliness are two reasons teens often give me for why they had sex.
“In the summer, I didn’t really have too much to do…and a lot was going on, breaking down my confidence. So, what does any young, vulnerable girl that doesn’t know any better do? Have sex with boys who don’t care…so I did just that.”
“I’m going through a time where I feel so lonely that I feel like I need to be with someone or if I’m not talking to a boy, I feel bad. But in reality, that hole of loneliness is something I have to fill on my own and you helped me find the strength to do that.”
So, what’s a mom to do in the Age of Corona when your daughter’s out of school (for who knows how long), and home alone while you’re at work supporting your family?
Here’s what I recommend:
- Make sure you’ve had a conversation about your expectations when it comes to sex.
Sounds simple, but you’d be surprised how many parents haven’t had that conversation or shared their expectations before.
Remember this blog post where the 12-year-old girl got pregnant by a 14-year-old boy after school while her mom was at work?
Her mom had not had a detailed conversation with her about sex and she wasn’t even aware she could get pregnant at her age.
- Monitor her as much as possible.
And be sure to do the following so it doesn’t come across that you don’t trust her, even if that may be the case:
- Call home regularly and at different times during the day.
- If possible, switch up your routine around the time you’ll get home every day.
- Have a neighbor or family member randomly pop in to check on her if possible.
- Don’t give her unlimited freedoms with rideshare services and technology.
Do you remember this blog post where a teen guy told me that a 16-year-old girl sent an Uber to his house to pick him up so they could have sex and Uber’d him back home?
If your daughter has access to Uber, make sure you have the receipt come to your email address.
Girls are Uber’ing guys to their houses to have sex, and this was BEFORE they were home all day!
And where do you draw the line when it comes to your daughter’s access to freedom (i.e. having her own debit card that’s not tied to your email address, so you know whenever an online purchase is made)?
I know it’s important to give teens space to develop independence and responsibility.
However, thanks to modern technology, access to freedom today comes with more hidden dangers than when we were teens.
(Which is a great conversation to have with your daughter if you haven’t already).
So when in doubt, err on the side of caution.
Keeping Her “New Normal” in Check
Old folk used to say, “An idle mind is the devil’s workshop.”
I’ve always encouraged parents to keep their teens too busy to make poor choices.
Now that sports practices, band practices, youth group meetings, etc. are canceled, those teens who may have been too busy to make poor choices in the past, now have time on their hands.
Enough to make some of the same poor choices other kids who were bored may have made.
I’m not saying it’s inevitable.
I just want to make you aware of the possibility so you can put things in place to make sure it doesn’t happen.
In the meantime, I’m here to help you, help your daughter, keep her “new normal” in check!
How you ask?
Stay tuned for an announcement about a new freebie I’m offering for teen girls who may be at home, alone and experiencing loneliness and/or boredom in the Age of Corona. You’ll learn more about it next week.
I promise, you don’t want your daughter to miss this!
I can’t wait to tell you all about it next week, so keep checking your inbox for more to come.
P.S. If your daughter is out of school and home alone due to the pandemic, there’s no telling how long this “new normal,” will last. But the good news is, you can help her make the adjustment by putting checks and balances in place, so loneliness and boredom don’t lead to poor decision-making and regrets.
P.P.S. Stay tuned for an announcement about my great new freebie coming soon for teen girls!
P.P.P.S. Please help me help our girls positively adjust to their “new normal” by sharing this post on social media. Your support is greatly appreciated now more than ever!