The most popular post of my Conversation with Korey series thus far, has been this one where Korey talks about the impact of fatherlessness on girls. It clearly struck a chord with a lot of people as I'd hoped it would. And I pray today’s post will do the same.
Tune in as Korey shares big brother wisdom with girls on love, sex and relationships – topics that many of them could benefit hearing from a caring young man’s perspective.
What’s Love Got to Do with It?
When it comes to teenage girls, love has a lot to do with it. The problem is many of them have a skewed definition of love, due in large part to the media. And our culture has trivialized what it means, to the point where now sex has become synonymous with love. Now there’s almost a reprogramming that has to happen, so that girls will know how to recognize authentic love that is mutually beneficial and healthy for both people involved.
As Korey points out, love should never make or break a girl. If he had a little sister, he would tell her that she can’t look to another person to discover who she is. Korey would also advise her not to compromise who she is-her value, her beliefs-all in the name of so-called “love.”
The advice Korey shares in today’s clip, for the little sister he never had, is spot on for any young lady. He encourages her to avoid wrapping herself up in another person to the point where she loses sight of who she is.
I see this far too frequently in letters I receive. It breaks my heart to read stories from girl after girl who wanted so desperately to be in a relationship and “in love,” that they willingly set aside their own well-being (physically, emotionally and spiritually), for the sake of holding on to the relationship. This is not true love and our girls need to know it!
Korey also offers words of wisdom that any girl can use to help set healthy #relationshipgoals:
- Measure the guy you’re dating. Hold him to a standard!
- Know where he’s going. Do his goals line up with yours?
- Think long-term. Is he treating you now like you’d want to be treated 20 years from now?
Sex Does Not Equal Love
I make it a point in my Sex-Ed classes, to dispel the myths the media peddles that have our youth, and particularly girls, believing that sex equals love. And parents, you have to do the same. You can start by asking your daughter (and son), the question Korey poses in the clip below:
What is your purpose for having sex right now?
Korey goes on to challenge the mindset that says a girl must have sex in order to prove her love for her boyfriend. Or to validate herself so she will feel beautiful and/or wanted.
How many of us wish we would have received Korey’s big brother advice back when we were teens? Our girls need this message today! So watch the clip with your daughter and her friends, and then discuss the questions Korey poses afterwards.
Also, please don’t forget to share it on your social media accounts. The more girls who see/hear it the better.
Next week will be the final installment of the Conversation with Korey series. Korey’s going to close out with advice for parents on talking to their teens about love, sex and relationships. So mom, dad, we’ll see you next week!