I know why girls search for love & try to get it any way they can. My parents never really loved me in the right ways and I have found that this guy does, but I am so desperate for someone’s love. ~High School Student
Does this young lady’s parents love her? I’m sure they do! The problem: They are not speaking her primary love language. In fact, this young lady did not say her parents did not love her. She said they never really loved her in the “right ways,” which has caused her to search for love from a guy.
The search for love in a teenager’s life can lead him or her to make some very dangerous and detrimental decisions. As a matter of fact, my experiences in the past twelve years of working with teens have led me to believe that at the heart of much of their misbehavior is the fact that many teenagers don’t feel loved, and subsequently don’t love themselves.
Learn to Speak their Language
Watch the video below as Jackie shares information from the book, The Five Love Languages of Teens, in a parent workshop.
The "Five Love Languages" are:
- Acts of Service
- Words of Affirmation
- Quality Time
- Receiving Gifts
- Physical Touch
If I asked you what your child’s primary love language is, could you tell me? If you can’t, don’t feel bad because you’re not alone. I would venture to say, many parents would not be able to answer that question.
But don’t fret! There is hope (and help)! There are a number of free resources available on Dr. Chapman’s web site, which includes a free profile that can be completed by you and your teen to determine what your child’s primary love language is.
If you haven’t read Gary Chapman’s book, "The Five Love Languages of Teens," I highly recommend it. You may purchase it here at a reduced rate.
Once you have purchased the book, download the free study guide for the book on Dr. Chapman’s web site. The study guide can be used for personal or group study.
Parents who take the time to become fluent in their child’s love language(s) are often the same parents who don’t have to worry about their teens seeking others to fill the void.
Can you share an example of something you said/did in your child’s love language and how they responded?