Porn: Is Your Child at Risk?

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iStock_000015913655SmallIf your child has access to any electronic device, he or she is definitely at risk of being exposed to pornography! Unfortunately, it’s not a matter of if your child will be exposed to pornography, but rather when.

·    93% of boys and 62% of girls are exposed to Internet pornography before the age of 18. 1.

As much as we want to shield our children from societal ills such as pornography, unfortunately we are living in a culture where not talking to them about these things may be setting them up for failure. (I wrote about a similar topic in a previous post, “Protecting Innocence or Promoting Ignorance.”) Your child needs to know that pornography exists and that he/she will likely come across it at some point.

A child’s first exposure to porn will probably be by accident, as was the case for this 8th grade girl,

First off, I want to tell you how much you changed my life by coming to my school and speaking to us…Now…my problem. I am addicted to pornography. There. I said it. Or typed it or whatever…I accidentally found a porn website, and I began to regularly go to the website and watch videos…At a recent doctor's appointment, my doctor asked if [I was] watching porn. I lied and said ‘Of course not,’ since my mother was in the room. The doctor responded ‘Good, because porn does things to your brain.’ That statement has haunted me ever since. What sort of things does porn do to the brain? I looked it up, and was able to understand why people have an addiction to porn, but as for exactly what it does to the brain I have no idea. Please help, Ms. Jackie. I don't know what to do. I know that I'm addicted. I know why I'm addicted. But I don't know what to do about it.

Yes, you read that correctly—a thirteen-year-old girl who is addicted to pornography. In next week’s post, I will talk about the epidemic of teen pornography addiction and what you can do if you find that your child is viewing pornography. This week I simply want to make you aware that pornography among teens is a problem (a HUGE one), share how kids become introduced to pornography and help you understand what you can do to prepare and protect your child.

How does first exposure happen?

With children having access to more and more electronic devices, (i.e. cell phones, laptops, tablets, ipods, and handheld gaming devices), the potential for them being exposed to pornography has increased exponentially. The Internet can be both a blessing and a curse.

Porn companies specifically target young children because they know if they can get them addicted when they are young they will likely have a customer for life. So they often make their domain names similar to a web address that a young child may need for school. This way, if children misspell the name of the actual site they are looking for, they will end up on the porn site.

When children have not been prepared for this possibility their eyes often linger longer than they should, setting off a release of dopamine, known as the pleasure chemical, into what is called the “reward pathway” of the brain. Dopamine is the same chemical released when a person uses cocaine or other drugs. Because this chemical release makes them feel good, they want to repeat that behavior or activity.

What can you do?

Make sure your children know that if they ever accidently land on a pornographic site, they should close the browser immediately and notify you. They should be informed of the dangers of viewing the material, even for a short time. A great site to visit to learn what porn does to the brain is www.fightthenewdrug.org. Following are some steps recommended on this site:

  1. Be Prepared: Everything starts with your own education on the topic.
  2. Pay Attention: Prepare your child when they are young for the likelihood that they will come across a porn site by accident. Observe your children’s habits to identify the potential for pornography exposure.
  3. Help Protect: Make use of Internet filters and parental controls in order to decrease your child’s access to porn sites.
  4. Set a Standard: Develop a plan for your family. This plan should include guidelines regarding consumption limits, acceptable time for use, and the location in your home for Internet enabled devices.
  5. Be an Example: Realize the example you set is the most critical aspect to the success of your preventative actions. Model healthy communication and media consumption.

What suggestions do you have that could reduce the risk of children being exposed to pornography? Please share any steps that you have taken so we can learn from each other.

1.Sabina, Wolak, Finkelhor, “The Nature and Dynamics of Internet Pornography Exposure for Youth,” CyberPsychology & Behavior. December 2008.

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